


Keep me Stable, Keep me Sane

by Laurincia



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Drug Use, Pining, Self-Doubt, because i'm stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-10 11:46:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19905196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurincia/pseuds/Laurincia
Summary: A building needs its structure and supports. Without it, the entire thing would collapse.Olivier valued structure with high regards. The GIGN and Rainbow provided it, and without it, he would spiral out of control.





	Keep me Stable, Keep me Sane

**Author's Note:**

> You can pry this ship from my cold dead hands

Olivier sighed, sitting down on his bed, slouching forward to stare at the blank white wall ahead. The same routine, the solid structure that Olivier made for himself — with guidance from Harry — and followed it to the T. Get out of bed, brush teeth and take a shower, eat breakfast, and do what has to be done for the rest of the day, which usually consists of training, sitting around or running missions They were variables. Lately, Olivier's been getting antsier, fidgeting more than normal, getting irate easier. With Emmanuelle being one of the only ones that know about his rigid need and desire for a stable structure — the other being Gilles — she noticed the shift in behavior near instantly. "Maybe you need a change of pace," she shrugged and suggested during breakfast. 

"Maybe," Olivier muttered, tapping his fork against the plate. He watched as Gilles passionately devoured croissant and he nodded in agreement with Emmanuelle. Olivier's gaze shifted over to watch Julien as he laughed at Alexsandr's joke. The defender always seems to have everything under control, knows how to handle tough situations and make decisions in a split second that would benefit the team the most. He's always admired the younger operator's charisma and selflessness. Julien was what Olivier's parents always wanted him to be, not some rebel delinquent. Not a disappointment. 

One of the first things Olivier tried to do once he got into a stable mindset was to make amends rebuild bridges, as suggested by Harry. He had invited Thatcher out for a cup of tea to settle their differences over. Then, there was Gustave. Olivier had knocked on the door of the medical wing, waiting to be called in. He heard light shuffling on the other side of the door before the doorknob turned and the door opened. Gustave’s expression quickly shifted from surprise back into neutral as he waited for Olivier to say the first word. Olivier had a rough idea of what he wanted to say but the words wouldn’t get past his lips. Gustave stood still, waiting.

Mentally slapping himself, Olivier forced himself to speak. “I-I know we have opposing ideologies,” he paused to take a breath. “But I hope that the blood between us won’t poison our field of work.” 

Sighing, Gustave shifted his weight onto one of his legs and leaned against the doorframe. The humanitarian in him started to show. “I don’t think I can ever forgive you, truly. But I respect you for coming out to say this. We’ll be mere acquaintances.”

Olivier smiled and bowed his head. “I’m glad.” One burden was lifted off his shoulders. 

As the days passed, Olivier found himself spiraling, following his routine less and less despite everything he’s done to get to this point. He would wake up at unconventional hours, skip breakfast altogether most days, and confine himself in his room unless he had something to do. Even simple and mundane tasks such as breathing were daunting and exhausting as it seems pointless. Gilles had had enough of seeing Olivier mope around the few times he managed to escape the confines of his room and showed up at his door one night. Olivier couldn’t get a word out before Gilles had dragged him out of his room and outside to the shooting range. 

“You’re depressed,” Gilles stated one day out of the blue. 

Olivier stared at the defender and received a blank stare back. “Didn’t think it was that obvious,” Olivier muttered. 

Gilles sighed and turned to look at Olivier. “I’m no Harry, but I’d suggest finding someone to help with whatever it is you’re dealing with.” 

“Don’t even know myself,” Olivier sat down and ran his hand back and forth through the grass. 

“Pretty sure no one knows what’s up with themselves all the time.” Gilles sat down next to Olivier and slung an arm over the other Frenchman’s shoulders. 

Olivier shrugged and picked at the grass. The night air was still and calm.

* * *

“Trees are great, don’t you think?” Harry asked, sitting down on his mess of a desk, smiling. 

Olivier raised an eyebrow at the other man and his seemingly out-of-nowhere statement. “I guess?” 

Harry chuckled. “They provide oxygen, shade, some bear fruit, and they’re nice to look at.” 

He was met with a stare. 

“I’m saying that they’re stable and provide a lot of different things. I think it would be really beneficial for you to find a tree. Not a literal one, but a metaphorical one, someone to be your tree, keep you rooted and grounded,” Harry explained, the smile never leaving his face. 

“Well, what about you? You have your shit together and seem to know me more than me,” Olivier suggested, leaning back in his chair. He started fiddling with his fingers and picking at the seam of his pants. 

Harry chuckled again. “As much as I love talking to you and helping you figure things out, I’m supposed to be your boss. Who knows, you might find a tree in Rainbow.” 

Olivier hummed and his thoughts started drifting. He thought about Julien, the defender that’s always so sure of himself, the one that’s always smiling, the selfless idiot that always puts others before himself. The one that’s everything Olivier strived to be.

“Just remember,” Harry started. ”You can’t just stand still and expect a tree to grow at your feet. You have to plant it, water it. Be patient, it’ll pay off.” 

* * *

Olivier joined Tze long and Erik in watching Mike and Gilles drill new recruits with James running around the field being himself, trying to be distracting. It worked. As Tze Long and Erik were conversing, Harry's words kept repeating themselves in Olivier’s head. With one quick thought, Olivier had already ruled out nearly half the operators as viable options to be his “tree.” Both Gilles and Emmanuelle were the best candidates. He and Gustave somewhat made up their differences but anyone with half a brain would know there’s still very noticeable tension between them. Olivier would still rather choke than rely on him for any sort of stability, regardless of whether or not Gustave could or would do it. 

He didn’t notice when Julien had crashed the drill and called everyone back into the base. Julien looked over at the three operators and smiled, gaze lingering for a few seconds before he turned to follow the line of recruits back through the doors. Shortly after, Olivier was called down to the briefing room in the basement. He had assumed there was a situation nearby and sure enough, there was. He was the last one to arrive in the room and he quietly took a seat at the center table, waiting for Jordan and Eliza to start. They had just said that there was a hostage situation and a bomb threat at one of the big malls in Britain and needed them to deal with it. 

“It’ll be a standard op, you all know what to do,” Eliza said, crossing her arms. 

Instantly, anxiety clawed at Olivier’s heart. He needed details, what was where, what the surroundings were, how many people were in danger. Too many variables. 

A gentle hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his panic-filled daze. Looking up, Olivier had expected the hand to belong to Jordan or Jack, but mostly Jack. The bastard notices everything. But it was Julien. The defender gave him a calm, reassuring smile. “Everything’s going to be fine, you’ll do great.” 

Typically, Olivier had almost never held any faith in himself or ‘it’ll be okay’ statements, but this time, Olivier was inclined to believe it. 

* * *

Their very own Marius piloted the helicopter over to the mall to drop half of them off on the north roof, and the other on the south. North for hostages, south for bombs. The north group comprised mostly of attackers lead by Eliza, while the south was made mostly of defenders led by Jack. Erik was to his left and Mei Lin to his right. Julien was right in front of him and gave Olivier a reassuring smile. They listened as Eliza explains the situation a little more. Sixteen hostages, three bombs. Jordan, Grace, and Mark were on the ground, monitoring the situation and managed to hack into the security cameras only to find that the majority — the useful ones — were destroyed. With Jordan on the ground and Yukio unavailable, Erik was the assigned breacher. Olivier’s instructions were simple; stay back, scan the enemy, call out their location. He decided a constant, high-frequency scan would be the best. Of course, that came with both negatives and positives, that being the locations would be broadcast constantly and the enemy wouldn’t be alerted by the entire building shaking. But, any sort of disruption could easily corrupt the scan. His attention would almost always be on his PDA. 

Marius touched down the helicopter on the north side and Eliza’s squad moved out. The second the bird lifted off again, Olivier pulled off his backpack and quickly started setting up his drone. Grace had given him the best coordinates and he piloted the drone over to it before putting the drone on standby. He gave a nod to Eliza and they all started moving out. 

What would Julien do? Every action Olivier made, he questioned himself. Julien “Rook” Nizan, talented, young, brilliant. Words he’s heard describe the defender numerous times, and Olivier agreed with every single one. Everything he strived to be was in Julien. 

Slowly, they crept towards the room where the hostages were, with Olivier keeping most of his attention on his PDA, keeping everyone updated if anything moves. He called out any and all locations of the terrorists hiding in rooms or wandering the halls. He noticed something else. “There’s someone behind us,” he whispered. They were pretty far off but they moved more confidently.

Eliza quickly looked back towards him. “How many?”

Another negative. Specific numbers were too hard to differentiate at a high frequency. “Don’t know.” 

“In that case, keep an eye out for them,” Eliza instructed. They continued forward. Mei Lin looked back and gave him a reassuring nod. 

Another task on Olivier’s plate. ‘Everything’s going to be fine.’ Julien’s words echoed in his head. 

They arrived at the wall Erik was supposed to breach and they all took defensive positions. Erik pulled out his torch and carefully drew a straight line waist-high, melting away at the metal that hid behind the drywall. Ten distinct dots inside the room, but there could be more, and the group outside, clearly patrolling the area. Olivier took a moment to fix a silencer on his pistol. Two lines have been completed, two more to go. Olivier glanced down at his PDA. “They’re getting closer.” 

“Deal with them,” Eliza responded. 

‘Everything’s going to be okay.’ 

Muttering a silent prayer to himself, Olivier moved from his position and towards the dot, pistol in hand. 

It didn’t take long for him to end up in a hallway that split off into two more paths and he peeked around the corner. He counted four bodies, all facing away from him. 

‘Everything’s going to be fine.’ 

He took a breath, aimed, and fired four shots. Bodies hit the floor. 

A voice came from one of the newly made corpses. “What’s happening?” 

Olivier’s heart started pounding and he muttered a curse, quickly moving over to the bodies, finding a radio. He pressed the button. “All clear.” 

“Good, get back when you’re done.” 

‘Everything’s going to be okay.’

Eliza’s voice played in his ear. “Lion, what’s your status?” 

Olivier quickly glanced at his PDA. Clear, no more stray dots. “It’s been taken care of. Heading back now.” 

“Double time it.” 

When Olivier got back to his position, Erik had been finished and the slab of metal that had been melted off had been gently placed on the floor to avoid noise. Olivier quickly turned down the frequency of his scan slightly. A familiar low rumble rang in his ears and the dots on his PDA became clearer. Twenty in the room. He called it out and everyone nodded, quickly and quietly moved into the room. Thanks to the building schematics, they ended up in the bathroom, hidden from plain sight. Mei Lin pulled out a candela and started the timer, waiting until everyone was ready before it was rolled out into the main room. 

‘Everything’s going to be fine.’ 

Silence and tension filled the air as the charge rolled towards the center of the room before detonating, firing flash charges in every direction. Everyone peeked behind their cover, firing at any hostile they could see until they all dropped dead. Screams and gunshots tore through the tense silence before. Other terrorists spilled in through the surrounding rooms as they heard the commotion but they were quickly mowed down. 

As everything stopped, they took a careful sweep around that room and the surrounding ones. When it was all clear, they started taking care of the hostages, quickly dealing with any wounds, leaving the duct tape on their mouths and their hands bound. Olivier had taken two hostages and looked down at his PDA and the schematics for the mall. When they get downstairs, it’s a straight shot from the stairs to the exit, but the most direct route is often the most dangerous. All the gunfire drew more terrorists out of their hiding spots from the mall and they started wandering around the building, some even went directly into the hostage room. Eliza paused and called their little command station outside, calling for there to be a roof evac. “Well, we can’t get you another bird but we can get you that giant air cushion thing firefighters use,” Grace said from the other end of the line. 

“That’s perfect, make it quick,” Eliza responded. 

“It’ll be on the West side.” 

Looks like they were going back the way they came. 

After exiting back through the hole in the bathroom, Olivier took a spot in the center of the formation with his hostages behind him, choosing to focus more on figuring out where all the remaining terrorists that were in the north side. A group of five took a defensive position in the room they passed through and Olivier called it out. Silencers were put on their guns and the hostages held their breaths. The dots disappeared, and they moved forward. 

‘Everything’s going to be fine.’ 

There were a few terrorists holding the roof but they were quickly taken care of. Erik peered over the barrier on the West wall and sure enough, the bright yellow cushion was there and inflated, three stories down. Sharp objects were removed, and the hostages went one at a time, waiting until the one that jumped was safe and on the ground before another went. It was a slow process, and some didn’t want to jump and required persuasion. Luckily, there were only a few so some of the ops volunteered to jump with the hostages. 

Olivier had kept himself busy by keeping his eye on the hostages and telling the next where to go. Two left. The remaining operators jumped with the other hostages. Only Olivier remained on the roof and he waited until the third pair hit the cushion and was safe on solid ground. He gave the okay to the second hostage, who braced himself and jumped. One left. 

A terrorist made his way up onto the roof through the barricade that had been broken when they first arrived and fired blindly, sending an array of hot lead towards Olivier and the remaining hostage. 

A mistake.

Olivier hadn’t spent nearly enough time periodically glancing at his PDA. He quickly moved in front of the hostage, doing his best to use his body to cover the other’s frail frame, crying out as a few bullets penetrated and ripped through his flesh. Nothing was fatal. As the terrorist was stupidly reloading out in the open, Olivier quickly unholstered his pistol and fired. Two well-placed shots and the terrorist was down. He quickly held up his wrist and cranked up the strength of the scan to its usual default. The building shook. No more hostiles on the North side. He gave the go-to for the remaining hostage to jump and followed shortly after. 

‘Everything’s going to be fine.’ 

The operation on the South side went on without a hitch, being able to safely infiltrate and hold the area as the bomb was defused. After Olivier and a few others were quickly patched up, Marius came back around to pick them up. Olivier sat where he sat before with his balaclava pulled off, tuning out the quick debrief, finding the floor of the helo to be much more interesting. The whole mission kept repeating itself in Olivier’s mind as he kept imagining different outcomes to every situation they encountered, if he kept his head down more or if he was more aware of his surroundings, how he should have kept a closer eye on everything as they were on the roof, if he was one inch too far from the hostage, they or even he could have died. 

An arm wrapping around Olivier’s shoulders snapped him out of his trance and he turned to look at Erik, who was grinning from ear to ear. “If it weren’t for this man right here, everyone would have been dead long before we got to the hostages.” 

Olivier wished he kept his mask on to hide the blush creeping up on his cheeks. 

Eliza smiled and nodded. “Yes, you did good Olivier.” 

Behind Eliza, he could see Julien smiling. He couldn’t help but smile as well. He had Julien to thank for inadvertently keeping him grounded throughout the whole mission. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to point out any mistakes or typos I might have overlooked or give general ideas for the plot because I sure as fuck don't know what I'm doing for the middle


End file.
